An elderly gambling man was dying. Since he had lived a rather unexemplary, irreverent life, his concerned wife summoned her spiritual advisor to counsel with him.
"I want you to do three good things before you die," the spiritual advisor said.
"First, forgive all the people against whom you have ever held a grudge..."
The old man nodded. "That can't hurt!" He declared. "Consider it done! What's the second thing?"
"Well...probably a bequest to a worthy charity would be commendable." The advisor suggested.
The dying man nodded. "Yeah...yeah...like your church I suppose?"
"-Well--"
Before the counselor could finish his sentence, the old man grinned and handed him a big check. "I already thought of that!" He declared. "Now, what's the third thing?"
The spiritual advisor sighed. "You should renounce the Devil. Completely denounce Satan and cast him out!"
The old man hesitated to respond.
"Go ahead! Just tell Satan to depart!" The spiritual advisor admonished him. "Right now!"
"...Well...I'm not so sure that's a very good idea..."
"What's wrong?"
The dying man gulped. "Don't you think I should hedge my bets a little before I offend him like that...I mean, like shouldn't I be sure where I'm headed first?"