Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.  I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course.  Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms.   We can smile, slate it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own ways.

Here is a model dissolution agreement. 
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion.  That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.  After that it should be relatively easy!
Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.  We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.  You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.  You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them). 
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,  Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens.  We'll keep the hot Alaskan Hockey Moms, greedy CEO's, and Rednecks.  We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..

You can make nice with Iran , Palestine , and France , and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protestors.  When our allies or way of life are under assault, we'll provide them job security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values.  You are welcome to Islam, Scientology,
Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars.  You can take every Subaru Station Wagon you can find. 
You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing Doctors (that is practicing, Howard Dean) who will follow to your turf (sic).  We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and The National Anthem.  I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach The World To Sing, Kum Ba Ya,  or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics, and you can give trickle up poverty its
best shot. 
Since it often so offends you we'll keep our History, our Name, and our Flag.

Would you agree to this? 
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR on who will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student
American

P.S.  Please take Barbara Streisand.

this is absolutely retarded and a great example of the divisive politics we have had ideologically beaten into our brains over the past 8 years. thank you karl rove.

ps- palestine is not a country. the palestinians are a people who are using terrorism to get the land that was taken from them back as promised by the UN resolution that created Israel.

 I agree with this deal but you conservatives also have to take the greedy wall street scum, Medoff, the entire Bush and Cheney family. I bet within 5 years these people will screw you so bad that you will be begging to come back.

What you don't get is that poverty is created by wealth and selfish people, just look at the hidden taxes that you pay that was implemented by your so called conservatives that are referred to as user fees, impact fees and other exotic names.

I live in Florida with a very conservative governemnt namely republicans, and our taxes have gone up under there leadership 600% in the last 10 years, but of course they don't call it taxes, just fees.

Here in Florida all these new FEES ( TAXES ) have not benefitted anyone but the special interest. so if you really want these conservatives to represent you by all means PLEASEEEEEEEEE  take them.

I'll sign on right now.

I live in Wis., one of the highest taxed states in this country. Our governor ran on a no new taxes platforn, but like in FL, just about every fee you can think of went up or was invented.

I think once we get rid of the liberals, socialists, biased msm, and stop expecting the govt. to fix every problem we face, we will have a great chance to reduce/eliminate many of those fees and then dig into the excessive taxes.

Yeah, sign me up John J. Wall.

And leave it to Jewdakris to call names. Wasted education?????

unless iceman is john j. wall, i didnt call anyone retarded but john j. wall. stop instigating bob.

OK, sorry! I guess I don't know your name calling rules.

Where do I sign?

I agree to the divorce and am ready to move to lefty-land. When your hummers run out of gas, we'll lease you our green cars if you have any money left over from your failed economy. Sorry, but that's cash only. Your credit is no good here.

But we're keeping the cops. Sorry, but they are a social program, so you'd be best to disassociate yourselves from them. For the same reason, we get to keep all libraries, fire departments, public parks, national monuments, museums, public transportation, child protection services, emergency clinics, NASA, NCI, the Red Cross, and the US Postal Service. We'll be generous and leave you any public roads on your half, since the cost of removing them would be prohibitive. You're going to have to replace all the signs and traffic lights yourself, however. Or just plow through the intersections at will... you're king of the road now!

I think this is good for all involved. You can live free, unfettered by the social baggage of a national weather service, transportation safety commision, board of health, public schools, and all those other commie programs. While we in lefty-land lay claim to the honor and respect of the rest of the world, if we can find which toilet Bush flushed it down 8 years ago.

Jewdakris:

this is absolutely retarded and a great example of the divisive politics we have had ideologically beaten into our brains over the past 8 years. thank you karl rove.

ps- palestine is not a country. the palestinians are a people who are using terrorism to get the land that was taken from them back as promised by the UN resolution that created Israel.

jewdakris, I just posted it, I think palestine should be bombed off the face of the earth. I do find it odd though that you would bring up a un resolution on this when all the un resolutions that led to the iraq war go unmentioned by the anti war crowd here

Skysaw says ..... "I agree to the divorce and am ready to move to lefty-land. When your hummers run out of gas, we'll lease you our green cars if you have any money left over from your failed economy. Sorry, but that's cash only. Your credit is no good here."

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Skysaw, I think our capitalist economy will thrive. Personal initiative, production, and thought rewarded by earnings. Self reliant people will rely on themselves for their needs. The booming economy will hire those services needed, will have the means necessary, and financial incentives, to develpe gas alternatives while we use our stockpile of oil. And back on the gold standard, we won't need much credit.

"I think palestine should be bombed off the face of the earth. "

good luck finding it, i repeat, it doesnt exist. palestine is not a country, simply a planned country under the same resolution that created israel. and i find it to be a testament to your intelligence that you would see in what i wrote some sort of conflicting ideology with the un resolutions concerning iraq.

also, the repubs should enjoy paying $200/barrel for oil when demand skyrockets from all their consumption when they start driving their giant SUVs again. enjoy those $100+ / tank fillups...

your repeated remarks about intelligence are getting quite old, or is this just in the new spirit of bipartisanship? or more of the same old liberal slop?

the iceman:

your repeated remarks about intelligence are getting quite old, or is this just in the new spirit of bipartisanship? or more of the same old liberal slop?

In a thread started by you that (jokingly or not) demands the ultimate in bipartisanship, you get upset at someone being bipartisan? Is splitting the country into two now considered reaching across the aisle?

**cries and stamps his foot**

People, people, people! Why can't we get along? Aren't we suposed to be "We the people..."? Sure there's problem "A" to resolve, which leads up to resolving problem "B" before problem "C" and "D" can get any worse, and we can't forget issues "1", "2",and "3" are starting to get out of hand, too.

But as a people, aren't WE suposed to figure this all out? Why sit around and wait for "Mr So-and-so" or "Mrs What's-her-name" to do the dance of the office? WE have the right (and responsibility) to make things work around US! Yes, yes, 'they' get in the way, or cause things to happen to slow up progress and such, but if we just sit back, it makes things seem as if THEY are in control of our lives! (Well, they are to a point I supose, but there IS a line drawn, right? RIGHT?!?

I've got a solution to MY problems, just going to take a bit of work to get it together, but I hope to move to a place where the native residents actually care about the land they live in, the people around them, and the world as a whole, not just pieces of it. Right now it's suposedly part of USA, but sooner or later the people will stand no more harassment and take back their land, which means it will seperate from the USA someday. (It's suposed to already be in the planning stages...)

Aloha!!!

=] 

skysaw:

the iceman:

your repeated remarks about intelligence are getting quite old, or is this just in the new spirit of bipartisanship? or more of the same old liberal slop?

In a thread started by you that (jokingly or not) demands the ultimate in bipartisanship, you get upset at someone being bipartisan? Is splitting the country into two now considered reaching across the aisle?

sky, yes this was posted as a joke, in 12 hours it got more replies then the wmd post did in a week, and everyone here, if they admit it or not knows the liberal idea of bipartisan means droping conservative values and crossing the isle to make nice

 I'll agree but only if Ron Paul gets to be the first president ... otherwise it will just be more of the same.

Mr. Magoo:

 I'll agree but only if Ron Paul gets to be the first president ... otherwise it will just be more of the same.

if Bob Barr is vp, that would be acceptable  ;-)

More like reaching across a river!!!!!!!!!!!!!