Dear Tech Support:  

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Golfing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....

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REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 .. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application 'Yes Dear' to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 .. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,
Tech Support

This is Funny...LOL<SMILE>

I use to have this WIFE 1.0 program.., in my tower....lol

 It should have beenf husband 1.0 ok Stalker City, thanks for the laugh. Toni

MAN U HAD ME 4 AWILE UNTIL I READ A LITTLE FERTHER, & I DID LAUGH BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE ME (but i"m the man).....GREEN DAY BABY (not the band).

DR. ZIRA, I HEARD YOU CALL FOR HELP AND I CAME RUNNING AS FAST AS I COULD AND THEN I READ THIS!  I LOVED IT AND THANKS FOR SHARING!  I'M GLAD YOU WEREN'T IN TROUBLE BECAUSE WE WOULD HAVE HAD TO COME TO SAVE YOU. 

 its would have been no use goldie, the friends 5.5 application won't run with wife1.0 just ask my hubby

Theres always Beer 12.0. Watch yourself though, too much of this application, and you might just clear your cache.

tatertots_mama:

 its would have been no use goldie, the friends 5.5 application won't run with wife1.0 just ask my hubby

Windbreaker:

Theres always Beer 12.0. Watch yourself though, too much of this application, and you might just clear your cache.

cache heck!!! It could fry the bios LOL

 Man... why'd the guy upgrade to Wife1.0? That's like upgrading to Vista. Don't do it unless you have to! ;-)

could have had him just upgrade to Wife 1.1 which comes with Sex Renewal 5.2 and Want A Massage 3.0

could have had him just upgrade to Wife 1.1 which comes with Sex Renewal 5.2 and Want A Massage 3.0

points!

Very Funny!!!